A Good End To The Week
I made the best decision yesterday even though I spent the entire day regretting it. I see my future in long distance challenges like Land’s End to John O Groats. Not in single day events where one bad day means defeat.
In life one bad day doesn’t mean defeat. Unless that day involves you getting involved in a wrestling match with a double decker bus.
That said, I loved Country to Capital and Liverpool to Manchester so maybe I just need to study these events more and hope for a bit of luck when it comes to the weather.
My strength is in my tenacity. I don’t have a ‘never say die’ attitude. I say die all the time but then I tell myself to fuck up and then carry on. I like to fight back when my back is against the wall.
I think I needed Isle of Wight and then London 2 Brighton to happen in the way they did. I’m full of bright new hate. For the last 18 months I’ve had this fire inside me that’s kept me together at the worst of times. When I get very low I promise myself that once I get back up I will fucking fight to never go back there again. To put everything I have into making shit better.
I’ve seen desperation and hopelessness and I never wanna go back there again. Once you’ve been low something changes inside you and you become a bit more fearless and stop taking shit as seriously as before.
Running needs to be helping me for it to be of any value. To feel obliged to run to impress other people is not what I’m interested in. This is all part of my coping strategy and it’s helped a lot so far. I don’t need to be placing so much pressure upon myself.
I ran over a half marathon tonight and did 4 miles yesterday. Gonna have 2 more runs of 7 miles and then a 10 mile from Penzance to Lands End on Wednesday and that will be yet another 200 mile month for me. 18 in a row. Well over 4,000 miles in that time. Based on my consistency I have a chance of getting to John O’Groats. It’s gonna depend on me having some fun like with the half marathon challenge.
I’ve bought a fuck ton of hi-viz gear and I’ll be trying to stick to as many B-roads as possible. I’ve no interest in going on one of my wee country rambles where I end up covered in shit.