8 Ways Running Is Easier Without Alcohol For Me
I did not post here when I got to 1000 days off the booze so I’ll post now about how much easier running is without drinking.
Sure, I can’t go out boozing after an event anymore but that’s good news for me and everyone else as I’m no longer a belligerent asshole out there. I’m hardly being social when I’m being a prick!
- No draining of the dregs of a wine bottle in the morning of a race to calm my nerves – Always suffered in the crowd and thought it helped. It made staying hydrated more difficult. Drinking on the day before an event was also common and/or funny to me, even though I was helpless to stop myself and it never felt like a choice. I’d always book 3 days away for a race at a weekend so I could spend the Friday getting fucked up.
- Fewer really awful race choices – When I was fucked up on booze I thought the sky was the limit even though I was stuck in a cavern of my own making and constantly banging my head against the ceiling. My worst choice of a race was London 2 Brighton 2014. It made for a good chapter in my book, but I could’ve died out there and I was close to battering my own head in with my shoe.
Me before race: So dude this is gonna rock. We get to stay in this tent, run through beautiful scenery all day and maybe even go to the pub a few times halfway through.
Me during race: *me using my shoe on hand as a sock puppet* You deserve a punch in the head with this shoe for being such a daft cunt “YES MAM!” and another “YES MAM!” these shoes were made for punching “YES MAM!” and that’s just what they’ll do “YES MAM!”
- 1000 calories per day more to eat – Less susceptible to taking diet pills or developing eating disorders just to maintain a healthy weight.
- Able to achieve consistency with my running – If I went on a weekend bender you can be certain that I would barely have exercised at all that week and it would inevitably lead to a dramatic downturn in my running. When I’m not boozing I can easily keep to a schedule. Perhaps I’m boring now but so is saying “Guess what I did this weekend? Well I can’t quite remember…”
- Fewer “code brown” incidents – Who’d have thought that mixing Jagermeister with energy drinks would make your arsehole yawn like a cat on habaneros?
- Less strain on my body – No awful hangover runs where I’m deliberately trying to get my heart to blow up to stop feeling so bad. No double sessions just to maintain a calorific balance. Ties in with the one above too
- More money to go on proper running adventures – No more 10-day drinking benders with a marathon at the end. I go on breaks now where I lose 3-5lbs a time instead of gaining 10lbs per break. I’m open to better holiday destinations now, not just slum seaside resorts known only for their cheap alcohol.
- Don’t get into fights with the public – Especially small dog owners. I don’t get as mad at situations which are out of my control especially if some cunt runs at me and I’m not hungover
“That wolf inside a rat is your problem mister. You’re still as bad as Hitler for owning that Nazi eugenics bastard case, but we all make mistakes in life. I regret shaving last night for the first time in a month and looking like a creepy Kinder chocolate cover superstar.”