During my lunch break I came across this article on the Guardian running website about the disgusting truth of running. I could relate to most of them aside from needing a piss on the run.
I’ve put together a list of 8 slightly less disgusting downsides to running that most of us have to put up with.
- The loneliness of the runner - Sometimes you can’t escape the mind numbing loneliness that you’ll experience on the run. As runners we spend vast amounts of time in our own headspace. It can be great to get away from the hustle and bustle of every day life, but it can be very lonely out there when you only have your thoughts and beeping watch to keep you company.
- Tripping and falling on the run - I was certain I wasn’t gonna be one of those runners you see tripping and falling over themselves at the finishing lines of races. But then 1 month into my journey as a runner I did just that. I slid on a bit of black ice and became airborne. Fortunately only my ego was bruised (along with my ass).
- The intensive post run showers – You can’t just have a normal shower after a difficult run. You have to literally shed some skin to make sure you aren’t stinking out your office out by midday. This takes time, effort and a lot of wincing.
- The farts that aren’t shits - The first three minutes of every run I completed are peppered with a trail of farts that are rhythmless and unpredictable. I find it impossible to gauge how close I am to downing the brown with a fart in the first quarter of a mile. It’s not until after that I’ll know if I’m truly safe from letting more than just gas out.
- The shits that aren’t farts – Please see the image below for more info.
- That sickly feeling you get in your stomach after ingesting 2 litres of energy gels/Lucozade Sport combo - You can feel your teeth melt away and the stomach discomfort feeds into anxiety. If I fuel myself on this combo then my appetite will disappear for hours afterwards too.
- Hitting the wall in a race - Nothing can prepare you for that crushing feeling you get when you stop in a race out of exhaustion and a random member of the public shouts “Come on 12542! Only another 15 miles to go! You’re nearly there!” I know they are only trying to be kind. But at that point I want to kill them.
- The endless fucking fads and gimmicks that make running seem complicated than it actually is – Barefoot running is a good example. I’m midway through ‘Born To Run’ by Christopher McDougall and if I’m to take anything away from the lifestyle of the Tarahumera tribe, it is that you only need to be a paranoid alcoholic with a woeful diet to run well. I’ve no idea why he concentrates so much on the barefoot running aspect of it. If I was to start worrying a lot about my foot strike and economy then it’d kill the fun of running for me as I’d be second guessing myself all of the time.
by Matt the Angry Jogger
Angry Jogger loves running to lose and maintain his weight. He started running as an obese man and is now only overweight at 200lbs. He started off at 280lbs.