8 Bullshit Ways We Feel Shame As Runners
I ran for the first time in 2015 this morning at and it was nice even if the weather was shitty. I did 8 miles around Banbury Reservoir into Walthamstow and back around Tottenham Hale onto High Road and it’s an easy enough route.
I’m so glad that I finally managed a run. I’ve been feeling a lot of shame recently for being such a lazy bastard but I know inside it’s fucking pointless emotion. I still can’t stop it from surfacing though.
To help myself, I thought I’d write a post about 8 ways we feel shame as runners.
- You feel shame for not running often enough – Especially at this time of year. It’s easier to sit inside and eat all of the fucking food and do nothing than it is to stick to a schedule. Chances are you’re already behind schedule anyway so what harm is another Mars Bar gonna do to you?
- You feel shame for being or feeling fat as a runner – And that shame will just make you feel worse in yourself and make you wanna eat more. When you’re feeling very unsexy the last thing you wanna do is run around town in your tight running gear. When I put on weight I just wanna hide away from the world. The only way I can work through it is to accept I’ve put on weight, not judge myself harshly and to slowly introduce myself into healthier ways. Accepting how you are doesn’t mean you have to stay that way though.
- You feel shame for walking in a race – If you run a race for the first time and have to walk at the end then it’s natural to feel like a total fucking failure. I know I did when I completed the 100k and walked for 24 hours of it.
- You feel shame over your shitty fucking running gear – “Aw. Look at you. In your little shorts. And your running top that doesn’t fit properly.. You look you’ve been shoplifting from a fucking charity shop you sorry little badger!”
- You feel shame for not always enjoying running – It’s difficult to be one of those grinning assholes who enjoy every single run every single time. You have the ability to run but you spend most of the time cursing it because it’s boring. monotonous, painful and hopeless much like drunken sex with an IKEA-brand wardrobe.
- You feel shame if you eat junk food – The beautiful people eat clean and you’re just a wanton mess of burgers, breasts and beer. Remember, you are what you eat!
- You feel shame as a lot of the time you’re running races for the medal and not for competition – You put in 50% effort in a race just so you can pick up a lovely medal at the end and then go out drinking with your friends afterward. A lot of the professional running cunts out there will look down on you for this, but no one actually cares what they think. Apart from you. Deep down inside you fucking know you’re a fraud.
- You feel shame for not looking like a runner. – Running magazines don’t help boost your self image. There’s always a sexy bastard or bitch on the cover who is 100x prettier than you’ll ever be. Even if you run 25 times a week and eat nothing but quinoa, grass and cow shit you’ll still have a wonky little head. Don’t feel ashamed by this. Your head is not your fault. Your parents fucked and you’re what dropped out of The Great Hole. Until they offer head transplants for under £1,000 you’re gonna have to live with yourself.