2015 Was A Bit Of A Wasted Opportunity.
2015 was a bit of a frustrating year.
The more I look back on it, the more I realise it was a bit of a wasted opportunity.
I couldn’t get my shit together enough to lose the weight I gained whilst writing my book. And as the year progressed, so did my drinking until I disappeared off on a holiday to Tenerife at the beginning of November. It was there that I realised I needed to quite drinking to stop falling back into this fucking cycle of “lose-gain-lose-gain-lose-gain-lose-gain”.
I never thought the drinking was the problem I was struggling so much. It was something I did to relax. To socialise. To “BE MYSELF!”.
That’s the problem. The more you drink, the more you need to drink to actually “be yourself” until you get to the point where you’re a burnt out alcoholic husk and you no longer want to be yourself so YOU DRINK ALL OF THE FUCKING DRINKS.
Running every day this month has helped put everything in perspective and I’ve honestly enjoyed most days.
Yesterday I ran around the East Antrim hills for the first time this year. I loved the freedom of being out in the country side. I was talking to the sheep. I was singing to the cunts. It was mainly this song.
I started to panic at one point as night was drawing in and I was completely lost down a country road. I had to switch my Garmin Forerunner data fields over to use the inbuilt compass as I knew home was southwards. Thankfully I got down into town before it got completely dark and I narrowly averted having to call into a farm to convince a horny farm boy to allow me to use his phone.
Yesterday’s 15 mile run means I’ve done 230 miles for December which is more than my combined totals for December in 2013 and 2014.
I want 2016 to be a year of genuine and continued progress. I’m sick of taking 6 steps forward and 7 steps back. It’s so tiring.