18 Months Without A Drink
I had some tiramasu by accident about 3 months ago but it tasted wank.
I never thought I’d make it this far. It’s been great. The thing I struggle with most is social situations. Part of me wants to go out with friends for a drink so I can relax but it would just result in me saying stupid and ill advised things and before I knew it I’d be on my way down again.
I don’t want to be drunk. I want the anxiety and the awkwardness to disappear. Drink did that for 3 hours only for me to go and make a complete cunt of myself and to wake up with even more anxiety and awkwardness.
I want to keep moving up! I’ve gotta get better naturally with social shit. I’m a terrible conversationalist. Monotone auto-responses that kinda sound insincere. Strangely enough hating yourself for being awkward doesn’t make it any easier. It’s typical of British and Irish men. We’re awkward angry cunts who can’t really talk openly about shit as it’s not seen to be a manly thing to do.
Accepting that you’re awkward and trying to do something about it is all you can do. No one would willingly chose to be awkward with shitty interpersonal skills. Even if they were this plonker.
Had grapes for dinner tonight and I started eating and choking on the vines. It’s how I’m gonna die.
Action Challenge sorted out my London 2 Brighton start time and I’m beginning at 6:30am. Very happy with that. It gives me enough time to get to Brighton before it’s too dark.
I’m worried that I’ll be so fucked after London 2 Brighton that I won’t even be able to start this mammoth journey through England and Scotland. I’ll just have to be careful and listen to my body. Hopefully I don’t lose my shoe and my fucking ankle in that awful muddy bit at Scaynes Hill.
I will setup my charity fundraiser page soon for Land’s End to John O’Groats and I’ll make it available once the run starts. I want donations to come in as I do the miles as an incentive. I’d feel bad if everyone donated at the start and I was then under a mad amount of pressure to hobble across Devon with only one working leg.
My plan is to try to run 3 times a day. Once in the morning to get breakfast in a town. Then I’ll do a longer run and get to a Harvester or a pub for lunch. Then I’ll go again just before dinner time. I might end up doing 4 or 5 runs some days but I’ll see how I feel. Some days I’ll only do one run if I’m in need of a rest.
I’m gonna be using the Airbnb app on my phone to locate accommodation for the night. Some days I will plan it in advance and other times I will just wing it a little. Need to be careful that I don’t end up camping naked on a roundabout.