11 Situations And Conditions That I Really Hate Running Through.
Yesterday’s painful 11 mile long run reminded me that there are certain situations and conditions that I hate running in.
Here are 11 of them. If you can think of any more situations where you hate running, tell me about them in the comments!
- Running in the heat – In the winter I get asked a lot about how I can run in the cold weather without freezing. The answer is simple. It isn’t cold once you’re running, you warm up very quickly! The problem with running in warmer weather is that it’s very difficult to keep cool once you’ve started moving. You have no control over it. In the cold weather you can put on another layer of clothing to combat the conditions. When you have moobs like I do, you cannot rip off your shirt for fear of arrest and/or ridicule.
- Running with depression that won’t shift – I won’t lie. There have been times where I’ve started a run depressed and ended up feeling even worse after it. We’re told that running is a mood booster that will magically make everything better in your life, but sometimes it doesn’t help. In the past I assumed that there was something wrong with me as I’d still be in a negative mindset in the run. Sometimes you will encounter those days and those runs, but you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s natural. The important thing is to continue to work your way through the bad times and running really does help over time.
- Running during the evening on weekends – Whilst it can be argued that having to run from drunks wielding pint glasses is a perfect catalyst for an impromptu speed work session, I can honestly do without having to run the alcoholic gauntlet. The last time I got stopped by drunks they asked me where I was going. I told them ‘to Belfast!’. They stopped and joked amongst themselves that I could not run that far as I was ‘fat’. Fortunately I don’t run to impress shitheads and continued on to Belfast where I celebrated with a pint or 3 and an excellent Burger.
- Running in the morning when you have work shortly afterwards – The amount of times I’ve went into the shower whilst I’ve still been sweating from my run must now be in the 100’s. I can’t enjoy jogging when I’m having to rush back home to get to work on-time. I like to take my time and go where I want to, as opposed to feeling constrained by the clock.
- Running when you’ve been constipated – Running is the best way to trigger a crap attack if you haven’t been regular for quite some time. All it takes to trigger this is to run over uneven ground and I’ll hear that familiar growling noise in my stomach and I’ll know that it’s on! It always happens when I’m about 14 miles from home. The fear of crapping my pants will make me panic even more until the pain becomes too much and I have to squat and shit in a stream and wipe with anything that isn’t nettles.
- Running when it’s pitch black outside – Due to the recession the town council have been unwilling or unable to allocate funding to repair street lamps that break in certain areas of town. This means that running on winter morning’s is hazardous to say the least. I could invest in a miner’s cap with a powerful head torch, but I’ve figured that I naturally look like enough of a dick without making things worse. I can’t seem to relax into a run when I’m unable to see a foot in front of me.
- Running when drunk – I always had the romantic notion that I could somehow excel at drunk running. I mean I like the feeling of being tipsy and I love the runner’s high. You’d think they’d make natural bedfellows! Well no. The first time I ran drunk was in Altura, Portugal and I went over my ankle on the beach. The 2nd time I went out the day after leaving my last job and could barely manage 5k without wanting to die. Running and booze together just doesn’t work for me. I have to do my running and then leave the drink until later.
- Running when it’s icy – I’m still haunted by the time when I fell as a 8-year-old on my way to school on an icy morning. I lay there like an upended goat for what seemed like a century whilst other school kids walked past pointing and laughing. Ever since I’ve started running I’ve only been out in the ice once and it ended in a bruised ass. Some people enjoy skating around. I don’t.
- Running on the treadmill at the gym – This will always be fucking painful for me. I canceled my gym membership for good on Saturday as I only went twice in 8 months. I’ve grown to hate treadmill running as I always need to go to the toilet when I power the belt up. Then when I press the “STOP!” button the need disappears. I’ll have serious flatulence regardless making it embarrassing for me and insufferable for anyone else using the facilities.
- Running on empty – My biggest fear as a runner is having to stop due to exhaustion. That came true on yesterday’s long run. I hate knowing that I’m not gonna make it all the way home. When you’re faced with failure on the road it can make the going even tougher. You have to drown out negative thoughts like “if I’m gonna fail anyway, why don’t I just stop now?”. The best way to avoid running on empty is to gradually increase your training to deal with additional mileage and pace.
- Running straight after a bad run – Ever had one of those runs that hurt so badly that you thought “never again!”? Well, you’re not alone! When a run is difficult you start to wonder if this hobby is for you. It seems to come to others so easily, yet here you are struggling to maintain your own shitty level of fitness, a reality that you find equally depressing and humiliating. The truth is that running will only get easier if you practice. Even though it’s painful and takes a lot of courage, your best option is to go out again after a bad run and change the course of your running future. It’s in your hands. You can make running your own enjoyable pastime by being persistent and jogging at your own pace (fast or slow, long or short, it doesn’t matter. Do it until you love it, you’ll find a way).