1 Year Off The Booze – I Did It
Been uninspired recently.
I went a year without the booze. I’m now on day 369 and I’m not drinking tonight but Christ I hate these cold and dark nights. I did 5k around Tottenham there and it was good to get out but at the same time, I’ve lost my way a little bit. The streak is alive but I’ve been struggling with my old brain which at times seems to want to starve itself of oxygen.
I got some abuse of drunk Spur fans. Lads. Banter. 40 year old men standing in a huddle in a fucking bus shelter shouting YID ARMY. LADS. FUCKING LADS.
IF CHANTING AND CHEERING AS YOU WORSHIP 22 WANKERS DANCING WITH A BALL LIKE THEIR FUCKING GLADIATORS IS YOUR IDEA OF FUN, YOU CAN GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES.
I’m glad I’m odd.
Although if I was running around Finsbury Park I’d come across Arsenal fans who are every bit as bad as Tottenham fans as all teams are as bad as each other. Supporting a football team is like trying to pick the best type of cancer. They are all cancer, but some are more malignant than others. Chelsea are probably pancreatic cancer. Your local pub team are probably that type of skin cancer that can thankfully be burned off your body like snow from a windshield.
Here’s what I’ve learnt about alcohol. I will make this brief.
- You can stop drinking if you want to stop doing it. I still wish to this day that I had never started doing it which has made the decision easier.
- The thought of going back to moderating alcohol doesn’t appeal to me. Having to count units is even worse than counting calories. Next we’ll be counting breaths until death. Fuck counting.
- Drinking is not a way to relax. If being poorer, fatter and more stressed out is relaxation then it can fuck off.
- Not all of your problems go away when you stop drinking. But life does get better and easier gradually. This is where having something like AA/Smart/Rational Recovery or reddit/r/stopdrinking help. Reaching out for support is great. Anything that can help you make you climb out of the hole faster is good.
- Drinking alcohol makes me LESS outgoing. I’m quiet and shy by nature. I drank to overcome my inhibitions. Then I’d be uninhibited and start saying all sorts of daft, cringeworthy shit. Next morning is a bollocks naturally.
- You still have moments where you think about drinking. I know alcohol won’t help me relax but at the same time I want to shoot for oblivion at times very rarely. Oblivion always comes at a cost and it’s more worthwhile to actually just sit through the fucking discomfort and feel the pain.